Kevin is one of my favorites, he has a GREAT voice. There is a ridiculously small soundboard here -
http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion/charliesworld/Kevin_Spacey.swfI like "Hello, This is Lester Burnham." I don't know why there isn't a more advanced board already, he has the perfect smart ass voice.
I also believe he talks about being dead/dying in American Beauty, which would make for some interesting lines in a conversation. He also talks about how his wife and daughter hate him lol.
"My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already. Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back."