the nice thing about being big and fat

[jackulator]

is that if you get stabbed, shot, or punched -- the attacker has to get through a whole lot of shit before they can hit anything important

I was just realizing that when I stepped out of the shower and got a look at my fucking gut in the mirror... like if some skinny punk punched me as hard as he could in the stomach it might hurt the skin on the outside -- but that's it...

he doesn't stand a chance of doing any real damage.

even if he stabbed me, there's a layer of fat on the outside, then my muscle, which is larger than normal considering the girth I'm pushing around all day every day -- then another layer of 'visceral' fat on the inside -- the stuff that gives guys like me the protruding 'gut'...

he'd need a 9" blade to do any real damage... 

assuming he was able to get a clean, full thrust. which he wouldn't because fat as I am I still have the reflexes of a ninja.

so being stout and fat is like a backup plan for being skinny and tough. not foolproof, but maybe just enough to get you through a few nasty encounters

[stoneeh]

okay jack, i will go on a 10 burgers a day diet and enter a knife fighting tournament to prove your point 

seriously, i enjoy your thoughts on this subject. cracked me up 

I still have the reflexes of a ninja

we know, nobody of us could keep up with your response time on the soundboard on our best day. tbh it's unreal. i played quake (a computer game, you should know it) pretty successfully around 2000, but even back then, i doubt i coulda kept up with your mousework. nowadays i am just slow, but i dont care 

btw the funny thing is, im pretty thin and i eat and fart more than fat people. maybe i have tapeworms. --- continuation --- just read up on the subject for 15 minutes, no i do not. nevermind 

[HairyChinaman]

I enjoy being slightly overweight. I've been fit before, and it's overrated. I'd rather have a layer for warmth in the winter 

Plus, I like the idea of my vital organs having a little extra protection 

[buster01]

"If I had abs; I'd be dead," Artie Lange. 

[An English type]

Shit, I think I'm in the danger zone. 

I weigh bang on average but none of it is toned, so I haven't the muscles to put up a good fight nor the bulk/lard to suck up the damage.

[CallMeBronco]

I never thought of it that way.  I don't diet myself and probably never would. I seem to be naturally skinny for the moment so if it doesn't stay that way I'll use your explanation. 

If you really want to lose weight just go to KFC; John Pennett said its the nutritional equivalent of smoking crack; which means it'll make you hyper and burn off all those calories in no time. Or try Taco Bell--they're portions are fucking small. Or have ya tried this thing called Bulimia? You just vomit all your food out after you eat! And you don't have to pay for any medication.

Even though I don't care about dieting I did happen to lose 15 pounds this weekend. I went to a British Casino.

[HairyChinaman]

Lol your comment is shitty advice porn, Bronco, I love it.

Also, An English type, your brief Jack Quote stage play made me laugh.

[stoneeh]

.

[marleycake]

The real nice thing about being overweight is your muscle mass would be higher than average due to the stress of carrying all that extra pounds, so if you ever do decide to diet make sure you don't starve yourself and lose all those muscles  too so if you manage to loss weight you'll be a jacked up  killing machine

[CallMeBronco]

they were just telling some fat jokes on the Norm MacDonald podcast;
"I went to see an Adelle concert recently but I was highly disappointed; as soon as she starting singing the show ended." 

anyway, that's true about muscle usually, my brother was over weight and once he lost a lot [and looked thinner] but on the scale his weight almost stayed the same because he put on muscle and apparently muscle is heavier then fat.