If You Could Speak to a Celebrity or Celebrities Using only Jackulator Quotes...

[Fried Batman]

What would you say? 

Billy Crystal = To all the people around him not paying attention to him "For christ's sakes, you're missing BILLY CRYSTAL"

Cuba Gooding Jr. = Anything from A few Good Men or As Good as it Gets would be good, and of course "Don't take a SHIT on my Cuba Gooding Jr."

Morgan Freeman = "Morgan. Shh."

Bill Clinton/Barack OH-Bama: (I'd probably get shot or something) "You know your wife is a bitch. She sells sea shells by the sea shore!"

[marleycake]

me to scarlett johansson:  look at those big naturals, big, big big BIG, big boys

Me to Taylor Swift

Me to Tom Cruise

Me to Bill Murray

you wanna fuck batman therapist? what do you say to that!   

Me to Seth Macfarlane

let's go to red lobster and fuck

Me to David Tennant

jesus i need a blow job and red lobster shoved up my asshole! 

 

[buster01]

Me to Kanye West:

"You're not very interesting."

"You suck."

"Acting arrogant and obnoxious."

"You know your wife is a bitch?"

"IDIOT. Fuck you."

Me to Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton:

"You're ugly."

"Some face they left hanging on ya. That's why they invented light switches!"

"You've got herpes, right?"

Me to Andy Dick:

"You'll be back on your knees in no time!"

Me to Bill Maher:

"I would argue the exact opposite."

Me to Jack Nicholson:

"Just listen to me for a second, I mean you'll love this, now, there's this guy ya understand, he's tired of screwing his wife, so his friend says to him hey: why don't you do it like the Chinese do..."

Okay, last one I don't know if I'd have the courage to actually do but I do a decent Jack impression and I wonder what his reaction would be. I like to think he'd figure out what I was up to and laugh at the end of the joke.

[jackulator]

me to Jack Nicholson: You wanna join our website? I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much fun we can have together. Up on the internet.

[CallMeBronco]

Me to Kanye West:

"Who are you?"


Me to Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton:

"her vagina was about as big as a goddamn tree trunk."
or "her vagina smells like oyster"


Me to the ladies on the feud:

"Jesus Christ! SHUT THE HELL UP!"
or with Bill Murray "Can you stop your lips from flapping for two little seconds?"


to fox news:

"do you actually buy that horse shit?"

to my boss (with Al Pacino):
"What you're hired for... is to help us,  does that seem clear to you? To HELP US! NOT TO FUCK US UP!!!!"

I'd be joking because actually my boss is pretty nice, but he's always forgetting to get stuff done.