running from the cops

[jackulator]

I just watched a few videos of people on ATVs getting away (not always) from the cops and they're kind of boring... I felt like telling them all the shit below, but I didn't... still... I probably should have.

1. I was being chased from Albertsons (grocery store out west) to my house -- only a half mile at most, but I had just polished off a six-pack of Mickeys and went back for more, so I was definitely over the legal limit. but like a dumbass I decided to peel out of the parking lot with my Geo Prism GSI and there just happened to be a cop sitting there waiting for something like that... as soon as I saw him I didn't bother waiting for the lights, I just gunned it up the street, and drifted around the turn from the highway onto my road at about 70 and a block or two past the turn I just pulled into the driveway of a random house that just happened to be a couple hundred yards away from my own. The huge clowd of dust was still poofing up around my car as the siren wailed past me without noticing, even though he was only a few seconds behind me. he went up to the next intersection -- sat for a second and turned right... that was it... I waited a couple of minutes and drove up to my house with my lights off... home safe home. beer in tow. good times.

2. on the freeway slowing down for a massive speed trap (construction signs for miles and miles but with no construction and finally everyone started speeding up to normal freeway speed) we come up over a hill and see dozens of cars by the side of the road and cops EVERYWHERE. at least six patrol cars... the camaro in front of me decided to gun it, but when a cop started walking out into the road with his arms waving he pussed out and changed his mind... but I didn't... I gunned it around the camaro and red-‌lined it up the road. luckily enough there was an exit... so I took the 30mph exit at 90, tires squealing, and wound my way around into the little town and parked in someone's driveway and sat there for five minutes... I got a look from a statey on the interstate 10 minutes later but that's it... problem solved.

3. drunk off my ass, sneaking around inside a food court/plaza thing that left their door unlocked at 3am... just because I wasn't supposed to be in there... walked out the exit after I heard a security guard yell "hey -- who is that?" only to find there was a cop car pulling up to the door as I was walking out. I made like I was gonna be calm and walk up to the car but then suddenly burst out running. ran a half a block, up the hill toward the bridge, but then jumped over the edge of the embankment before the bridge (meaning the cop would have to turn around and go about a half-mile to catch back up with me) ran for about a quarter mile -- right past the cop shop about a block from my house. heart beating fast. but I got away. again...

not that I'll try any of that shit these days. mind you -- this was 20 years ago... pre-9/11...

but still... way more exciting than most of these goddamn ATV chase videos...