I'm fucking pissed

[buster01]

Okay I need some good revenge ideas prontissimo. Four douchebag drunk pothead punks have moved in to the downstairs apartment to the right. They've woken me up five times in the month since they've moved in and seem to think the stairs right next to my bedroom is their personal stoop for smoking, talking on their phones, saying dumb shit to each other and laughing hysterically. Last night they woke me up three times the last one at past 3 in the morning at which point I finally got dressed and yelled at one of them. I have a hard morning workout today and now will have to do it on an hour and half of sleep. They don't look like a physical match to me but they're four of them to my one. What I'd really like to do is get a bat and go Joe Pesci on them but I don't want to be locked up. All ideas are welcome. Help me out. 

[stoneeh]

Your walls must have some really crappy insulation. In the appartment I am renting now it isn't as good as the previous one, but I still can't make out much of what's going on. When the neighbours get really noisy I hear it, but not loud. In my previous appartment I never heard anything.. only a very dull knocking noise now and then, probably when they were vacuuming their rooms.

I really can't gage how annoying the sounds are.. depends a lot on the background noise too.. if your bedroom has a window and you leave it open, mostly the city noise will drown out everything else. I find that soothing. But, if your room is totally quiet, fuck yeah, then hearing some dumbasses go on about some irrelevant shit for hours would piss me off too. You wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else.

As these are obviously shady characters, calling the cops on their asses might not be a bad thing. Just say you always hear them talking about weed. That should do it. Or maybe just tell your landlord that they are too loud, maybe he'd sort things out for you.

You could just try to talk to them, but lord knows, if people want to be annoying, they will usually find a way, and they sure as hell won't be convinced to refrain from their behavior purely for the reason that it would be nice and decent of them.

Just don't get in trouble over these assholes, they're not worth it 

[houseman]

It sucks because there is really nothing you can do.  If you tell them to keep it down, they probably will just continue.

Can you talk to the landlord?  He may or may  not help.  I'll bet there is something in the lease about keeping the noise down.  You can also tell him that the place is unlivable because of the noise.  By contract, he likely has to provide you with a liveable place.  Maybe then you can get out of your lease early and move.

[jackulator]

I agree with houseman. if they can't be reasoned with, and you don't want to rat them out to the landlord or the cops you're screwed. very frustrating.

what I do is generate white noise on Cool Edit and turn it up really loud. just sounds like a waterfall, or an old TV on no channel -- but it drowns everything out nicely. plus it sends a hint to the people who are being noisy. any time they hear that noise they know they're being too loud...

I actually made one 4-hour-long white noise MP3 that slowly decreased in volume near the end. that worked pretty well

[CallMeBronco]

can you complain to your landlord? OR talk to them directly. If these don't work;

try planting a stink bomb in this stairway, that should keep them away at least temporarily. 


talking to them probably doesn't work. Like assholes I work with; people never change. Fortunately I never had to worry about this. I lived next to annoying people three times and worked with annoying people four times but none of they lasted very long. In my experience these people will sooner or later get kicked out because everyone hates them so much. I mean who can like someone who is noisy and obnoxious all the time? When I lived in the apartment with my brother the only person who stayed in the room across the hall for any reasonable length of time was this young woman who was quiet as a mouse. There was... I think three people; two of them had girlfriends or friends or something. Always lots of people around taking up space and noisy and annoying. I think the longest they lasted there was three months. I remember being so relieved when I found out they were gone.

[buster01]

I can and will complain to the landlord I just don't have a lot of faith that they'll do anything. Although the lease agreement claims a zero tolerance policy towards noise after 10PM, loitering and illegal activity so if that's true maybe they will. Also I now know one of their vehicles so I have some ideas. And there's always the old leave sugar in the bushes and grass next to their door to attract insects kind of thing.

I'm not much scared of reprisals so if I'm coming home next time they're on the steps I'll be more than a little hostile. Since I get the feeling these guys aren't used to being confronted I think it'll throw them off their game. I get the feeling they're more the clueless type of bad neighbor over the entitled and that they don't know how annoying they are. Or they're too drunk and/ore stoned to be aware. Either way it's on.

[stu]

I feel for you, ive had to live next door to a noisy neighbour for 2 years and its driven me absolutely crazy, theres no sound deadening between these walls and you hear almost everything, and he used to have frequent all night parties, luckily ive not heard him for a month, whether hes moved out I don't even know, but I know hes not there, I just hope hes gone! I hope you get it sorted 

[stoneeh]

I think they're just fuckups too. Don't take it personally.. some people just can't help themselves.

Seems the rules are in place for your landlord to sort things out. "No noise after 10 pm" is probably a law as well, so you can always sink the cops on their asses. And I believe maybe you should. I view it as follows: the cops are paid to help me, not to annoy me with random traffic stops or parking tickets or other BS. So I make use of them whenever I can.

[buster01]

SInce I posted about this before I'll give an update. Last night after being woken up on both Wednesday and Friday I saw them smoking on the steps at 11:20 and went down and ripped them a new asshole. Didn't go quite as well I would've liked but I think I got my point across and won the argument. And it was very satisfying cussing 'em out I gotta admit. Also told the landlord about them today so we'll see. My new strategy is to call the police and a number the landlord gave me the second I hear them at all after hours.

What was really annoying was one of the guys trying to play the physical intimidation card (not that it worked) and another saying "if we're making noise just say so." Like it should be my job to police them instead of them just staying inside with the windows shut after hours. Fucking idiots.

[jackulator]

haha the physical intimidation card... on you... that's gonna work. 

for those of you who don't know buster is quite a physical specimen... the kind of guy you cozy up to in prison so bigger guys won't constantly rape you... just sayin   

[buster01]

haha the physical intimidation card... on you... that's gonna work. 

for those of you who don't know buster is quite a physical specimen... the kind of guy you cozy up to in prison so bigger guys won't constantly rape you... just sayin   

ROFL hardly dude. I just have a pretty good sense whether someone is actually dangerous or not. 

[jackulator]

so you got an update? Just curious! 

[buster01]

Hope I'm not jinxing it but the combo of my cussing 'em out and talking to the leasing office about them seems to have worked. I haven't heard them all week and the one time I saw one of them he finished his cigarette and went inside as I walked up to my place. I'm sure they'll pull some bullshit again at some point but I'm not gonna be tolerant. First time they wake me up again I'm reporting them and complaining to the landlords again. 

[CallMeBronco]

I don't blame you.
hey- chances are: if you did the same thing somebody would kick you out, so why not. It ain't right anyway, to annoy people like that. When around people, especially strangers like that, have some goddamn common faggety-white courtesy.

These people have no common sense. Like the asshole I work with. He plays his shitty music so load sometimes I can't hear my own music through my earphones, what kind of bullshit is this? Fucking people.... 

They all need to be sent to a country where only the morons live together; then they can all have it out with each other and leave the rest of us peaceful people the fuck alone.

[jackulator]

...have some goddamn common faggety-white courtesy...These people have no common sense.....They all need to be sent to a country where only the morons live together; then they can all have it out with each other and leave the rest of us peaceful people the fuck alone.

reminds me of that bit Carlin did about moving all the prisoners to different states out west and building a giant fence around it... there needs to be one for inconsiderate, thoughtless, heedless douchebaggers...

[EDIT] here it is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq9ZoGihurY

"rectangular states are easier to fence -- saves the taxpayers money" 

[buster01]

I loved that bit but if it were up to me I'd separate all the douchebags. Not sure where you could move 'em all though. Maybe LA since it's about seventy percent douchebags there already.